A massive sinkhole mysteriously opens up in Los Angeles, separating part of a family in an unexplainable primeval world, alongside a disparate group of strangers. The Big Bang Season 1, Episode 1.
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These girls don't just break the rules, they make the rules. They wear men's boxer briefs as shorts over one-piece bathing suits. They roll their own tampons. And they all have matching gold bowling jackets, even though they don't bowl or get cold. Oh, my God. It's the archery team all over again! They ran my high school.
Preyed on anyone who dared to be a little different. My mom packed me a new dessert. It's called tir-a-ma-su? I'm excited but a little nervous to try it. Archery Girl: Get your ethnic shit out of here!
We eat cake! Hey, nice shot. You guys want to hang out sometime? Beat it, four-eyes. I'm with the cools now. God, they were the best. The only way to survive people like that is to keep your head down. And since Steve won't, he's gonna need my help. I'll talk to these Golden Girls. Tell them to chill out. Go nuts, bitch. Babe, I held it in all night! Hayley: That's awesome, babe. Babe, is today free day at the zoo?
You know it, babe. Tuesday's Zoos-day. I love going to the zoo. The drinking fountains are so cold there. Where's my hat? I don't know. And I don't know.
No hat. I can feel the wind blowing across my brain! How do you live like this?! I have a headband. Their parents buy them lighters! Hey, gals, what's the haps? I'm the new 'G' to the 'C' that's guidance counselor. I love your beard. I hope I can grow sick facial hair like that when I'm a crusty, old Debbie like you. S'up, Debbie. Bye, Debbie. I'm gonna go look downstairs.
Why would it be downstairs? I don't know! I'm just trying to help! Then how about finding my [bleep] hat! The Golden Girls are so cool. I think they hate me. What do you think?
I'm thinking about running away. Sure, that'll solve all your problems. But I can't run away. I work here, sort of. But there is one thing I can do.
Roger, would you mind taking over? Okay, run away dos and don'ts. Do pair up with an older gentleman. Don't be afraid to be choosy. Remember, you're the catch. What up, sluts? Let me guess You're gonna bust us for ditching?
Nah, betch. I'm ditching, too. Your hair. Oh, this? This is just my regular haircut. Oh, don't worry. I don't think you guys copied me or anything. Maybe you aren't such a crusty, old Debbie after all. But I'm a senior! I'm concerned.
He has a lot of demons. And for some reason, he carries a bag of forks around. I like that. What's with this? It's, uh, just something I did. And how does this help Steve? Steve from home? That's why I did this. Because the Golden Girls are the main threat, so I have to get in good with them to help Steve from home! There you are! Never do that to me again.
What do you mean? I found your hat. It's a fake. How could you? How dare you?! Jeff, I am so sorry. I was just trying to make you happy. And I thought if I bought you a new hat, we could visit the zoo, like we planned. We belong in the zoo! The only thing that separates us from the animals is our hats! Yeah, thanks for letting us skip history, Francine. History is so stupid. If that stuff is so great, how come we're not still doing it? I do like the name Benedict Arnold, though.
That would be a boss name for, like, a massive bulldog. On a scale of one to French, how do I look today? Oh, pardonnez-moi. I didn't realize you were guiding the young mademoiselles. Francine, do you know that dweeb? H-He's my friend Stan's kid. Like, 10 years ago, he drew a picture of me, and it was, like, a circle on top of a triangle.
It's like, 'Uh thanks? Guys [Whispering indistinctly, laughing] So, we never do this, but do you want to come hang out at Blanche's dad's lake house this weekend?
My boyfriend drowned there last summer, so the cops let us drive around doing whip-its. That sounds like a blast! Okay, don't pee yourself over it. I only pee when I dump. It that like a field trip? I don't think you're allowed to go out of town with the students. What are you, the rule book?
It just seems like you're always with them. Uh, yeah. We go to the same school. But I go to that school, and you won't even wave back to me in the hall. I'm getting in good with them for you.
You're getting them to come to my fashion show! They'd never go to that without your mother going to the lake house and talking them into it! Thank you, Mom! Is there something a little different about Francine? She seems cooler somehow.
Wake up, bro. Francine is, like, the coolest girl in school. She will be mine. All I have to do is figure out where Steve goes to school. Get away from me. Sometimes I wish the moon drowned in that lake instead of Austin. Hey, Francine, why aren't you making fun of the moon? Sorry, guys. I guess I'm just thinking about something.
Oh, no. I promised one of the students I'd go to his stupid fashion show. You know what would be hilarious? Like, if we all had sex with that cop who looks like my step-dad?
Uh I was thinking more like we go to the fashion show and clap, but our secret joke never to be revealed would be that we thought it was stupid. Like the moon. The moon is such a Debbie. There she is. She is so cool! Francine, hi! It's me Stan! I was at your wedding!
She's looking. Pretend I said something funny. We're the guys who are always laughing. It will be when you dump clam chowder on his head. It'll be hilarious. Um [Scattered applause] Why is she not doing what you say?
I guess she doesn't want this. I'd get to be a Golden Girl? Cream-covered boy. Wait a minute. This has to be a trap. But, then again, it's better to know. You look like you got hit by a bag of dicks, Dorothy. Aw, man!
They put my name backwards. Is the type of thing you might hear, considering what you did to him yesterday. What were you thinking? Oh, my God, Roger, I'm a monster! What am I gonna do? I don't effing know! This is a disaster. Yeah, that'll work. Are you okay, hon?
Oh, hey, Mom. Yeah, I'm good. I was just smelling my pillow super hard. Have you ever wondered what dreams smell like? What's up? I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the French Club Fashion Show. Oh, what a disaster.
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